Am I Going to Miss Out On Much If I Never Date and Remain A Virgin For Life?
I studied sociology intensively in college. During discussions about romance, sex, sexuality, sexual health, and romantic love I never really understood or was able to relate to the class because I have never dated, had sex, or was ever able to relate to girls. My mother never wants me to be around girls anyways saying that they "will hurt me." I’m a 23 year old male virgin. I learned that men who have never had dated or had sex are at risk for serious heart disease and cut their life short by about 15 years.
Am I really missing out on a lot if I never date or have sex in my life? I guess I find sex and a girls body to be kind of scary. I never had any friends that were girls either – I was always friends with guys – and no, I’m not gay, religious, or asexual.
I simply want to know, in your opinion, if I’m really going to miss much in life if I never date, marry, or have sex. I’m planning to live in an remote part of Alaska.
Why the drastic decrease in life? Just curious.
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Just find yourself a wife.
I was going with the idea that you’re asexual, but if not… maybe you’re just antisocial? I don’t know.
The shortened life expectancy is probably because someone with a significant other would have less stress (can talk things over with the S.O.) and the S.O. could help in emergencies, whereas someone single wouldn’t necessarily be able to phone for help in the middle of a heart attack.
Everyone has their own choices and preference. Just don’t make decisions out of fear. Good luck. Do you want a relationship? Aren’t you lonely?
Correlation is never causation. I would suspect that the lifestyle of men who don’t date is higher stress, thus leading to heart problems. It’s because you’d be doing everything for yourself, instead of sharing in a partnership with someone else. That can be stressful.
You say you’re planning to live in a remote part of Alaska, and that your mother raised to to shun women. I would never tell you that your personal life decisions were wrong, because they are YOUR personal decisions, but before you do this, I need you to consider a few things.
1. Do you not want to date, or are you doing this because your mother pushed you into it?
2. Are you moving to Alaska to avoid women? If that’s the case, it sounds like you want to be with women, but are trying to keep yourself away from them out of fear of what might happen.
3. If you’re truly comfortable with the idea of lifelong celibacy, why did you write here to ask us if it was okay? I suspect that you’re not entirely comfortable with it.
4. What do you find scary about women? Is there any situation you can imagine yourself in that a girl would NOT seem scary to you?
Honestly, the best way to handle this is to sit down and have a long talk over some coffee, but I can’t do that with you. I urge you, though, to consider your motivations for doing this before you make a final decision. If you come to the understanding that this is what you really want, then do it.
Living life is about experiences.
If you decide on the celibate life then you are shutting out a whole pile of experiences. Though there are lots of people who choose the celibate life (i.e.priests, nuns etc). A lot of them turn out well adjusted, while there are some that are less than adjusted.
Decide for yourself what experiences you want and make sure you don’t regret your decisions.
Each to his own I guess. I am 18 and its against my religion to date… SO I have never dated or anything…. My friends first thought it was weird but now they are ok with it actually they tell me I don’t want to get in to the dating game because its a lot of hurt lol…. Anyway just date when you are ready. maybe when you go to Alaska you’ll meet a girl and I read a book where it said that in Alaska people have sex just because there is nothing else to do for six dark months…
Good luck
It’s fine that you’re a 23 year old virgin. I’m a Christian and I believe that sex is only acceptable within a marriage. Waiting for that special person actually might help you cherish your future wife even more.
Hey, i’m like you too. I’m only 5’8 (most girls here are at least 5’9) so i don’t get "lucky" at all…
Let me put you in perspective for a second though… You were discussing suicide and other similar things in your other questions. You say you are athiest. I am too. I just want you to consider this – If you believe in no after life, we have eternal rest correct? We are dead and cease to exist.
This is my point – relative to the timeline of universal existance (which is infinite) your maximum lifespan of perhaps 70 years is not even visible on the timeline of eternity. So why waste this given oppurtunity of conscious thought and life when you will have plenty of time to rest after is is all over? Make the most of it… Who cares if you are short, moving away to alaska may be cool, but why not even somewhere else??? Just leave and find yourself a clean slate to start fresh, meet some short girls and breed regardless of the height of your children. The human race is screwed anyway… Just look at yourself, see where life sucks and then go find a new place and make the most of it. If you can learn to love life, life will learnt to love u too. Anything can be done no matter how DISADVANTAGED you are. Life isn’t fair, i know allll too well.
I hate my town. And will move when i can afford to. Start affresh, take up some cool activities, get a fun job, do what i WANT to do and see my life steadily get a lot better. Once i love my life, i will see past all the crappyness and learn to enjoy it.
BTW, i am insecure of my height, HOWEVER, i’m accepting that i was dealt the crap cards but i won’t let this M other F u c k ing world ruin my only chance at life!! Don’t be a pussy, grab this world by the balls and pull hard!!!