Getting Caught Masturbating….. By Your Mom
When I was still living at home my older step brother often left his erotic comics in the bathroom. He also had this little thing…. it looked like a can of beer, only it wasn’t. It was a Sex in a Can by Fleshlight. He had the Lady Lager version, or at least that was the one that got left in the bathroom. To be fair, he stuck it behind the toilet, where it would not be easily seen unless you moved the garbage can. I’m rather surprised it never got tossed out, considering who cleaned that bathroom.
My stepbrother was about five years my senior, but had a hard time holding a job. He typically would move back home for four to five months at a time until his dad would get pissed off and kick him out again. Well having said that, there was this one time he moved back home and his freaky girlfriend came by and stole a bunch of my good clothes (and yes, they were men’s stuff too!). His dad got pissed and kicked him out for it, but he could not get his comics or his Sex in a Can from the bathroom. Needless to say, I figured fair was fair and took them since his girlfriend left me wearing crappy clothes to school for the remainder of the year.
I suppose I should not have taken the stack of books or the toy, but it did not take me long, at fifteen, to figure out how to use the Sex in a Can. I have to say it was 100 times better then using my hand. The only problem was the stupid thing was addictive. One Saturday I was home alone, I thought at least, I pulled it out, lubed it up, and propped it into the frame of my waterbed. So intent on what I was doing I did not notice when the car pulled in to the driveway. I was not aware of anyone coming into the house either.
Needless to say, it was a shock when my mom opened the door! Talk about a flush of embarrassment! I think I turned beet red from top to bottom on that one. Then again, I do not think my Mom wanted to witness that either. Her eyes must have been the size of a saucer before she looked away and closed the door.
Now it would have been way worse if she had caught me with my fist going at it, and at least she hadn’t seen anything, but it must have looked pretty strange. I sort of expected that I’d get a talking to later by my mom and step dad. Amazingly, she never told him. She did slip a box of condoms into my stocking that Christmas though with a card that said “Do not open in public”. What can I say? My mom was a pretty cool parent, more interested in keeping me safe then trying to enforce some moral standard that was outdated.
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absolute classic, When I was a teen I was once laying on my bed, beating the meat furiously with both eyes closed and head phones on. when I finished and opened my eyes. I noticed a nice hot cup of tea on the table by door. lol Il never forget the fear in my heart when I had to return the cup to the kitchen. but good old mum never said a thing. Although I did find her dildo when I was a toddler, so im putting my experience down to bad Karma lol. it happens…..I guess