How do I talk to my wife about her loose vagina?

I hate to bring this up, because I love my wife and appreciate every thing she has done.

But after several children, my wife’s vagina has become extremely loose. I don’t enjoy sex anymore. Not for lack of trying but simply because there is so little sensation. My penis is of average size, and I used to really enjoy our sex life. But in recent years it is getting harder and harder to accept. Our youngest child is five years old, so this has been going on for a while.

I don’t know if she has tried Kegels or not. I know the Doctors were always talking about them, so she at least knows about them.

I would like to find a solution. Like I said, for all I know she is doing Kegels for two hours a day with no results, so I don’t just want to suggest that. I have seen information regarding vaginal tightening surgery. I don’t know if that is a good option or not.

We have a generally good relationship, but I am scared to death to bring this up because I don’t want to humiliate her. Any ideas?

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21 comments

  1. It is great that you’re seeking advice. As well, you ARE correct that childbirth DOES change things down there. Those that think they don’t haven’t had several kids. Kegals are key–for those are the exercises that strengthen the muscles not only for sex but for urine control, etc.

    You might wish to start off the conversation on the idea of urine control instead of the sexual aspect if you’re working on not humiliating her. Be gentle and perhaps take it from a "I read an article today, honey and so this doesn’t happen to you in later years and embarrass you, after having all the kids, don’t you want to try it?" sort of direction. Concern for her health will go over a lot better than concern for your sexual satisfaction might, and then you can add with charm and a wink that the "side effects" for this exercise can also spice up the bedroom–this tact might help you get a bit further.

    As women, most of us do want to please our men and it is a concern–trust me as a mother of five myself I get this one really well! So as long as you take it from a standpoint of concern about her health and well-being and self-esteem where that is concerned, the side effect is that you’ll get what you want out of it. She’s never going to be "virginally tight" again–so don’t expect it. But things can improve!

    Good luck.

  2. derekbradley4000

    be careful what you say… it could backfire… you say your penis is average size… she could argue that it’s not her vagina being loose, rather, it’s your penis being too slender.

  3. print out what you wrote here, and read it vertatim. It sounds pretty gently and sincere to me.

  4. Talk to her. If I were her, I’d kill your for posting this information for strangers to read. Guys always have something to say about us and our vagina’s. Maybe your D— is too small or has shrunk over the years!!!!!!!! Don’t be a wuss talk to her. Communication is the key!!!!!!

  5. One…child birth does not make a vagina larger. It will go back to the same size it was before the birth.

    Two…how shallow do you have to be to suggest she get surgery? How about you get surgery and make that little thing you call your penis a lot bigger?

    Three…how would you like it if she told you that your little penis no longer satisfies her and she wants to find another man with a larger penis?

    Four…I will promise to stop coming over and wearing it out. So, now you have nothing to worry about.

    Give it a few days.

  6. Dacious P.I.

    OMG, where’s Dr. Ruth when you need her? I guess you would wait for the right moment (not during sex), and look for that open door. (no pun intended). Start out like you did above – I love you very much and appreciate everything you do for this family. I am having some erection difficulties. I feel that if you would quadriple your kegel exercises it would help. Or, I heard there’s a surgery that can be performed. I think this could spice up our love life tremendously.

  7. You will never win with this one. You will hurt her deeply!! She had your children and that happens.Try different sex postions and see if that helps.If you tell her this I guarantee it will backfire on you!!

  8. Perhaps she feel the same way and is embarrass to bring it up. Get some literature/books on the subject and put them around the house. Suggest different positions. Ask the doctors to talk to her specific about it.

  9. put it in her ass

  10. um .. my names is andy and my wife and i just had a baby. we did wait enough for us to have sex. were pretty turn on by each other but i did feel a big difference. i do love her and care for her. i do satify her both oral and intercourse but im not feeling it. i feel left out on our love making. she still tells me im great and stuff but i just cant tell her the same. and do those kegels work? im not asking for tightness, just asking for good intercourse.

  11. I commend you for asking for help instead of going out and cheating on your wife. There are vagina tighting creams you can try. I recently ordered three diffent kinds and enjoy testing them to see which one works best. The first one I tried was virgin spray and was impressed with the result. I am now trying virgin cream and the third is lady serum. She will not regret using it. Good Luck!

  12. I have been maried for many years and we have two teenage kids and can relate to the issue of my ladies loose vagina. I am probably average with a seven inch long and fairly girthy rod. The problem is that she is very loose and even though I have never tried to stretch her out know that i insert all fingers in her while getting her excited. I try not to do it because she is already loose enough. I do wish that somehow she could tighten up as it makes it depressing during sex and I only last about eight minutes because its just too loose…

  13. Suck it up, ya got five family members for life. Also, introduce sex like you’ve never done it before; harder and nastier, you never know, it could do wonders.

  14. john doe

    I told my wife that she was a bit loose and she snapped…she’s 3 month pregnant and I don’t wanna cheat or anything like that I’m just concerned on the issue…and how long can she feel bad w/o any sex? That’s gonna make things even worst…I need advice and not from ignorant women…my penis has never been a problem at all so don’t make penis jokes…I want answers to the problem

  15. waynet53

    Hey John,

    First off, this is a common problem, so don’t get too stressed out with it. A little advice, hope it is useful ;-)
    1. Chat with your mates about it, especially those mates that have children, they will have gone through the same experience when their partners were pregnant.
    2. Women get a bit looser during pregnancy and after child birth, that’s a fact.
    3. Women tighten up naturally sometime after childbirth. (But not always back to 100%)

    If she doesn’t tighten back up you may want to try the following.

    1. There are virgin creams that can be used to tighten a vagina (temporary fix), if you want a permanent solution then you need to try and get your partner to try kegels with Ben wa Balls.

    The hard part like anything in life is to admit that something is wrong, so it is sometimes better not to go down this route it can cause more hassle as you found out, when she snapped.

    You can however go down the “lets have some better sex” route, this is easier, consider getting a sex kit that contains virgin cream and ben wa balls and read about kegels. This way you don’t have to mention loose vagina’s, instead go down the route of spicing up your sex life.

  16. Since my wife has has 3 children I have noticed a little less of a grip in V AREA. But look at it on the good side. #1 it makes playing with here V more exciting. #2 You can try just about anything you want because it opens up many doors that were closed before. #3 She will always pleasure me any way I want, and she has become very submisive to me. I have noticed she really likes to masterbate now which is a real turn on, and now she likes to shop with me online for sex toys which she never liked b4, and what is so amazing is I really like women with loose Vs because they can really get down too it when its play time. She now is able too ejaculate where as before she was imbaresed to. So my advise is take advantage of this and do alot of expermenting with different size toys she will not object too this idea because she will be choosing the largest toy avaliable and it is a real turn on to see her lay her head back,close her eyes and its a nonstop orgasum, and buy plenty of sheets for the bed. YOU GOT LOVE IT, I DO. Have fun!

  17. Put you hand inside her vagina while you’re effing her and jack yourself off. Works every time.

  18. Steve Parr

    Flip the stretched out *@! over and use the back door.

  19. bigboy1970

    My advise to you my friend is to get a Bathmate, I bought one a little while back and all I can say IT WORKS, my wife loves it!!!!, I always wondered in my mind if she wanted me bigger and I asked her a few times over the years and always got the same answer ” your fine dont worry about it” but I did worry about it and after looking at options I found NOTHING that was tried and true, then I came across the Bathmate, read about it and took a chance on getting one, well…. the first time I used it it was like night an day, her eyes popped open and I could tell she liked it, now she says ” YES its better”, I know she was not wanting to hurt me since I didnt have a large one but now that I am growing a large one and she sees it getting bigger, she feels safe to say that she loves it bigger and her orgasms are like earthquakes, one after another, get one and you will fill her up…..

  20. MY FRIEND IS A SEXY GIRL. SHE ALWAYS MAKE SEX WITH OTHER MULTPLE MALES. HER VAGINA BECOMING WIDE. WHAT SHALL I DO NOW BECAUSE MY PENIS IS MEDIUM?

  21. I’m a dude, but I’d imagine that being told your vag is too loose would be like being told your todger is too small – unpleasant.

    Why not get kinky? Buy her a large toy or two. See if you can work your way up to fisting her. If you keep her happy, she’ll probably be more amenable to keeping you happy with oral / anal.

    I may be biased, I have a really thick one and I’ve always had a thing for both older women, and women with a bit of mileage down there.

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