Should I Still Report This Sexual Assault PLEASE READ?
I was sexually assaulted so I went to a sexual health clinic to get tested for STDs. I was sexually assaulted when a man penetrated my vagina with his finger after masterbating.
I said to the first clinician "I was sexually assaulted and I am worried that I may have contracted HIV, especially since the man was bisexual"
I just received my complete file from there (I requested a copy of it). Under Staff Notes the clinician wrote "Advised HIV test for unprotected coitus with bisexual male." She did not include that it was a sexual assualt.
The second time I went (new clinician this time), I clarified more and said "I was sexually assaulted when a bisexual male penetrated my vagina with his finger." This time, this clinician wrote "Sexual Assault–’He fingered me." A few lines later she wrote "First coitus at 19" (They have to put down at what age you lost your virginity.)
How come she has to "dumb down" my description and quote me as saying "fingered" but then she can be professional and use the term "coitus"? I NEVER used the term "fingered", especially to describe my sexual assault. It is a slang term that usually implies consent.
Why did the first clinican assume that it was a vaginal/penile sex assault? Doesn’t she know that you can be sexually assaulted other ways besides having a penis put into your vagina? Did she want to sound professional by saying "coitus"? Shouldn’t she have asked what the assault entailed?
Am I being too Type A about this? The file makes me look childish, promiscuous, uneducated, and makes the assault look questionable. A defense attorey would grab onto the "unprotected coitus with bisexual male" and say that that was a separate consetual act. He would say "So you voluntarily had sex with a bisexual but then you are upset when a bisexual puts his finger inside you?" He would say "You called it "fingered" which implies consent. The file makes me look like an idiot. It also might look like I lied at exaggerated the assault, calling the digital penetration a penile penetration.
It is just all messed up. Am I over-reacting? It is just that I am thinking of pressing charges but now I don’t want to because my file is completely messed up.
I don’t want to report it now because my medical record makes me looks like a liar. A defense attorney would have a field day tearing it apart.
What are your thoughs? Should I go have my file ammended next week? If so, what should I say in the paragraph that I submit?
Related posts:
- Should I Still Report a Sexual Assault Even Though the Clinician Messed Up My Report?
- Anxiety Over Sexual Assault PLEASE READ AND HELP ME?
- The Clincian Assumed My Sexual Assault was Vaginal/Penile Intercouse?
- Can Sexual Assault Occur Without Vaginal/Penile Intercourse?
- why do some Anti’s continually shame and ignore male victims ?
9 comments
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You shouldn’t be talking to the clinic; you should be talking to the police.
Don’t let people manipulate the truth… take a stand and fight for the truth…
Tell them not to write something that could seem misleading. Those are your rights!
Either GO To The Police.
Or Just Move on…
Ur Choice
yeah i agree with the guy above. Call the police and get a lawyer. Tell your lawyer what you just told us and he/she will raise hell with the clinic. Thats messed up. Your not overreacting.
Assuming this is not a joke (since it does come off that way), I would suggest that you speak to a different doctor. Tell him or her that this is a serious matter which has deeply impacted your life. THerefore, ask them to write it because you are going to court to file a case.
wow i’m sorry hun… i thought this was going to be a lot easier to answer than this… the question is do you want to subject yourself to this? If you do i admire you if you don’t i totally get why… your call
HI,
NO you are NOT over reacting. The nurse you saw was an idiot to say the least. Yes…continue with your assault charges and get your file and speak with the hospital or clinic administrator. Certainly get this cleared up and written the way you yourself described the assault. It’s easy to see by your writings that you certainly are no idiot….sweetie, you were assaulted and have the right to have your medical needs taken care of. Both medically and professionally..you need to see who is in charge down there where you went for help. I don’t like how she descripted things either. I do not like the terms she used. Unprofessional one minute…professional the next. I feel bad that on top of just going through a most horrible situation that you went for help and did the right thing and this is how you were treated. I would be screaming from the roof tops. Trudge on though honey…you must be protected and taken care of in the right way. You are a very intelligent person and you’re only trying to report things as they occured. I wish you love and strength as you go through this most difficult time. I hope you have family or friends to support you during this time. Feel free to email me if ya wanna talk more about this,
Starskyslady2@aol.com
take care and God bless,
Eileen
Mother of 2
Hi Amanda,
any sexual assault is a serious thing and it usually helps to talk to someone. If you’re in the USA contact RAINN on 1800 656 HOPE. Otherwise google ‘rape crisis centre’ to find your nearest centre. Ask to speak with the duty worker. You are not alone.
Wendy
I completely agree with you. Part of the difficulty is that the words that people use to describe sexual assault are the same words people use to describe consensual sexual activity. You see it every day in the newspapers: men accused of sexual assault are said to have ‘fondled’ the woman or ‘kissed’ her or ‘performed a sex act’ with her.
And in fact what these men have done is not ‘fondled’, ‘kissed’ or ‘performed’, but violated the woman’s bodily integrity.
I think the first clinician should definitely written that it was a sexual assault, and should not have written coitus, since you didn’t say that. She should have written: Advised HIV test after sexual assault by a bisexual male. And the second clinician should certainly not have used the term ‘fingered’. That’s completely inappropriate. She should have written something like ‘Sexual assault by a man using his fingers.’
I do not think you are over-reacting. And I do think you should ask them to amend your file. I think you should submit a paragraph in which you state clearly exactly what you told each clinician, and also state that their reports do not accurately describe what you told them. I think you should complain that clinicians working in this field should have more sensitivity to issues related to sexual assault and that they should refrain from making assumptions about the nature of the assault. They should also describe the event using the language you use, rather than interpreting it and using their own terms, especially when those terms are clearly inappropriate in view of the consent/assault issue (e.g. ‘fingered’).
And if you want to press charges, don’t let your file prevent you. You have reported the matter and presumably had an HIV test and that much is a matter of record. Submitting a paragraph to have your file amended is a really good idea, but I think the main thing is that you reported it in the first place.
I hope things work out as well as possible for you.